hai! entah kenapa malam ini gw lagi agak agak mellow mellow gimanaaaa gitu… kayaknya sih gara2 besok itu last performance gw bersama temen2 gw kelas 12 anak seni tari lainnya…. semester 2, gw dan tmen2 gw anak tari klas 12 dah ga boleh ikutan perform di acara lagi, bahkan acara paskah pun ngga….
gw ga tau ni blog mau diapain hahaha
October 1, 2011
hai!
ni blog dah super terlantar hahahaha bayangin aja coba tiap kali gw mo ngepost pasti ujung2nya cuman jadi draft doang ckckckck…. mana gw lagi sibuk2nya dengan berbagai macam urusan ckckckck….
yaaaaaah liat aja deh nanti nihblog mau di bawa ke mana. hahaha
things I would do IF I receive angpao
February 3, 2011
hello again! it’s currently the day of chinese new year, which means angpao day for some of my friends. well, for most of them, actually, since most of my friends are chinese descendants. I actually do have a little chinese heritage in my blood, but it’s been so far away that our family doesn’t celebrate it. it means I don’t receive any angpao 
sometimes I do envy my friends who receive angpao, but I’m used to it so it doesn’t matter hahahaha…
you should know that some of my friends get some staggering amount of money from their angpao. I once heard that someone got over 3 million rupiahs. some got 2 millions, basically 6-7 digits. or maybe anybody got 8 digits? I don’t know! (so now you now why I get jealous sometimes 
) that ain’t little money, dude!
today, I wonder, if I get to receive angpao, especially that amount of angpao $.$, what would I do? would I spend it all? or would I save it all? well, let’s go and do a review!
- I’d save some for my education. as you might know or not, I’m planning on getting my university degree in germany. it needs a huge amount of money, definitely. I know, some of you remembered that some universities in germany don’t charge tuition fee, but I still have to pay for administration fee and living cost, which I would have to cover on my own. getting such amount of angpao would really help!
- I’d revolutionize my wardrobe! my wardrobe is very outdated and not complete! I still need some articles of clothing to complete it. for example, I need to buy a pair of sneakers that I can wear to some occasions. I do think my running shoes ain’t that appropriate. I also need to buy pairs of pants, including black-coloured jeans, cargo pants, etc. also some shirts. AAA too much! need to prioritize number 1 though.
- I’d save some, of course.
- I maybe gonna give some to charity.
- I’d go out and eat!
what else? I can only think of those so far! hahaha
Galau. Bimbang. Takut. GAAAAARRRH apa ini sebenarnya?
January 2, 2011
hi, folks. sori klo bahasa gw bakal rada berantakan di post ini. yah sbnernya di post-post gw belakangan bahasa gw berantakan mlu, tapi mari kita bahas itu belakangan saja….
belakangan ini gw jadi sering banget ngerasa…. aneh. ga tau deh. ada orang yang bilang galau, ada orang yang bilang bimbang, ada orang yang bilang labil, gw juga sejujurnya ga tau apa yang sbnernya. mungkin klo sedikit gw pikir2 lagi, gw rasa ini sebenernya rasa takut. ya, takut. belakangan ini entah kenapa gw sering banget ngerasa takut. idk, it’s just that fear keeps on coming and coming and coming, and no matter how I want it to leave me, it just doesn’t. instead it’s getting more and more regular. it can come anytime, anywhere, under any circumstances, and without my will. *duh, fear doesn’t come at will* maybe it’s because a lot of pressure that’s been pressing me a lot. most of it are connected to what I think what my future is going to be. sometimes it’s just too much, that I’m left silently reminiscing and thinking about it inside my conscience. I’m trying to figure out a solution to all of those things, fears, of whatever it is, but still, even though I think I’ve found a solution, it doesn’t get out of my mind. well, it is about my future, or at least the future I’m hoping to experience. you will know soon from my post titled “PROJECT GRIGNARD” which is not yet completed, it was supposed to be completed before new year’s eve, that I’m planning on going to Germany in pursuit of higher education. and in order to achieve that, I would need a hell lot of money. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about ways to make money during my study in Germany later, like getting side jobs, performing some dance shows, getting in some competitions, etc. I also think about ways I could do to harvest money to support me there while being in Indonesia, like getting into competitions that yields money, fully save my allowance, etc. I even think of ways to save money while being in Germany, like to live in shared lofts that is located and organized by the university to cut down accomodation expenses, eat cheaper food, not buy a lot of things while being there, etc. but as time goes by, I think of a lot of obstacles there. for example, I don’t think that my dance skill is good enough that I would even get into a dance company and perform in germany. my brain isn’t genius enough to allow me win a lot of competitions, especially competions that I think I’m good at, which is chemistry. Oh, and about chemistry, I’m not that confidence in my chemistry skills! I’m not noel, who won gold medal at IChO! I’m not KT, who won gold medal in OSN! I’m not Joshia, who also won a medal on OSN! these guys are really good at chemistry, that sometimes I look at them and just awed, thinking of how am I gonna get even near such ability. Me? I think I’m just someone who thinks he knows a lot of things about chemistry, who is such a know-it-all smart-ass who thinks he is quite good at chemistry! while in fact, I’m not that good at chemistry! I’m also not that good at dancing! not that good in parkour as well! even COOKING! the thing that I think could be something that I’m proud of! I don’t ven think I have anything worth to be proud of. any skill, that I’m really good at, that I really master to the point where I have no doubts whatsoever in sharing my knowledge to people! even maybe sometimes boast about it a little! I’m not gonna lie, I love to show my pride over what I am good at! I know it’s a bad thing and I’m currently trying to subdue it! well you know what? anytime I’m gonna boast about something, it’s gonna be just empty talks, more talk less skill. I don’t want that! I REPEAT, I DON”T WANT THAT! I need a skill where I’m actually good at, where I can talk about it within range of humility, where I can sho a little bit of pride and confidence!
you know, maybe I’m just tired of not completing something up to the point where I’m supposed to excel at. usually I get into a competition, I excel at the beginning, and then I fail just before I’m about to go to the upper level. I’m tired of it. I know that a lot of times I’ve been up there. maybe all I need is a little humility? a little conscience and guarantee that once I get up there I won’t boast about it, won’t think of that as I did on my own? for my own glory? perhaps.
—- sorry if this post seems to have no closure and uses a messed-up language. It’s just a way for me to express what’s on my mind now. ——-
2010 Memories
December 30, 2010
udah tanggal 30 Desember 2010 aja ni hari. sumpah rasanya baru brapa bulan yang lalu gw masuk smukie, tau2 gw dah di tengah2 kelas XI aje… 2010…. buat gw 2010 ini taun yang lumayan berwarna, taun yang lumayan berarti, dan ga bakal gw lupakan hahaha… gw jadi tertarik bikin post ini terinspirasi tmen gw chelsea di blog tumblrnya (http://chkoreo.tumblr.com) yang isinya tentang memories dia selama 2010. jadi gw pikir, daripada gw nganggur, bikin aaaah!
jadi mari kita mulai.
Januari: apa yah? ada LDK 2! jadi ceritanya waktu itu gw termasuk salah satu yg lolos LDK 1 dan lanjut ke LDK 2. LDKnya itu di ciloto, di tempat kyk penginapan gitu dah. tempatnya oke loh, acaranya juga seru hahaha… sayangnya gw ga lolos LDK 2, jadi gw ga termasuk pengurus OSIS.. apalagi yah di januari? lupa deh hahaha…
Februari: tidak merasa ada yg istimewa banget. eh ada ding, acara valentine + imlek! itu pertama kalinya bu grace ngedaulat buat nari dayak bareng CH ama theon hahaha… yang gw paling inget tuh lomba ngegombalnya hahahaha itu paling bikin ngakak!
Maret: March 2nd, my birthday. waktu itu klo ga salah gw ama kedua ngko gw dan nyokap gw + bang thomas tmennya bang kiko, makan di Java Restaurant Intercontinental MidPlaza Hotel. eh, mahal dong? yah sbnernya sih bisa dibilang yang bayar cuman ngko gw doang hahaha, itu pun ngebayarin bang thomas. jadi ceritanya tuh kan nyokap gw sering ngebookingin kamar buat orang jepang ato siapalah yang dateng ke jakarta. karena ngebookingin, nyokap gw dapet poin. poinnya itu jadi sah pas bookers gathering itu hotel sekitar bulan oktoberan gitu dah. pokoknya dket2 akhir taun gitu deh. nah nyokap gw taun 2009+2010 awal dapet poin banyak, jadi nyokap gw tuker buat voucher belanja di carrefour sama voucher makan!
April: rasanya sih nothing special
Mei: nari betawi buat pawai hari pendidikan nasional. yah sbnernya gw ga ikut pawai sih, cuman nari di depan stand smukie yg dipasang di depan sarinah gitu deh. sumpah ini salah satu pengalaman nari paling buruk yg pernah gw lewatin! gila aja lu bayangin, di depan orang2 yang lagi olahraga pagi, gw salah gerakan! damn! tapi emang rada buru2 sih itu latiannya hahaha secara si bu grace juga disuruhnya dadakan ama kepala skolah ahhaa.. oiya, gw pake acara nyaris telat lagi ==’ gw kirain acaranya masih minggu depan gitu, taunya minggu itu juga ckckckck.. bulan mei ini juga ada seleksi buat OSN tingkat kabupaten. gw ikut kimia, tentu saja. lumayan, OSK nya lolos tapi OSP tahap satu ngga ==’ tapi yang paling berkesan sih maen kartunya hahahaha
Juni: lupa. ulangan umum kalo ga salah? dan penerimaan rapot. ulang tahunnya si vero yg dirayain dengan cara hansen bawa kue ke skolah hahaha… OIYAH BARU INGET! gw diperkenalkan ke dalam dunia parkour oleh Gerald Bastian! cuman bertahan rajin dateng selama sebulan dan setelah itu menurun drastis…..
Juli: masuk lagi. KELAS BARUUU! XI A 4… bahagia karena isi kelasnya lumayan, kurang seneng karena ada beberapa orang yang masuk kategori “errrr…” dan beberapa hari kemudian mulailah rentetan latian gabungan buat HUT PENABUR….
Agustus: HUT PENABUR! tanggal brapa gw lupa hahaha… buat gw sih ini pengalaman yang lumayan oke, tampil di depan sekian puluh orang di JITEC Mangga Dua, lumayan lah buat pengalaman.. ga bakaldilupakan dah pokoknya hahaha… apalagi latian-latian gabungannya hahaha… oiya acara 17an bersama XI A 4 juga oke hahaha. dan baru inget, ada suatu kejadian sepulang TOS yang males gw ceritakan di sini. pokoknya itu kejadian lumayan signifikan dan membuat gw masih blom berani naik busway sendiri lagi ampe sekarang.
September: lupa, rasanya sih ga gitu banyak yah, palingan yg kmaren itu latian2 buat opening smukie cup….
Oktober: SMUKIE CUP! IGN1TE2010. kesempatan gw buat teriak2 napsu buat dukung KRIZA and only KRIZA! dan ini juga satu2nya saat di mana gw gila-gilaan ngeflood di timeline gw cuman buat bikin hashtag #IGN1TE2010 di twitter jadi trending topic! hahaha…. sayangnya pas closingnya itu ngko gw pas wedding, jadi gw ga ikutan nonton closing padahal artisnya aja ada banyak ckckck… oiya gw ama CH, theon, dan gary ikut porseni, nari tentu saja, nari dayak dengan koreografi yang telah diperbaharui hahaa…
November: lupa. banyak yang gw lupa yah ckckckck. klo ga salah ada ke anatomy show bersama putri, niko, dan tine.
Desember: lumayan. pertama, pembantaian massal bernama ulangan umum. mat gw ga selamat T.T padahal klasikaaaal T.T.. alhasil mt gw merah di rapot dengan nilai 59.5. ini dia pertama kalinya gw dapet nilai merah di rapot zzzzz….. tapi yah di luar mat sih nilai gw yang laen.. bolehlaaaaah hahaha…. trus ada lagi dinas nari di perayaan Natal smukie taun ini. dengan koreografi untuk tarian kesenangan dan neraka! meskipun ada lupa gerakan T.T
yah itulah 2010 buat gw, sejauh yang gw inget, hehhee… banyak hal yang gw capai, dan banyak juga hal yang terlewatkan. remind me of anything missed!
One of The Best Day EVER!
December 15, 2010
oh yes, I feel EXTREMELY happy today! things doesn’t seem to go nuts, everything went quite well, and I’m happy!
this day started in the morning, the usual routine, breakfast bla bla bla. afterwards I went to school with props for today’s performance *technically it’s yesterday already, but I’m still going to refer it as today* for our school’s christmas celebration. I dance, of course. We had been preparing for this day for approximately 2 weeks. We? of course, how could I dance all by myself? Today’s dance is integrated within the play, starring my other friends. It went quite awesome! everyone laughed during the play *which was designed to be funny on the last minutes before the performance*, and during our dance performance everyone seemed to be stunned, especially during our part that was supposed to represent hell. I also dance for the dance routine which represents heavenly happiness. more on the choreography, later. There are also 3 other choreography, the “angels”, the “students”, and the “hedonistics”. each dance routine was awesome and everyone performed excellently! mrs. grace, our dance teacher was really satisfied, and so did our friends!
after the celebration’s over, I went to my class to pick up my share of meal. when I was there, sandy asked me to go with them and watch a movie. I agreed to go with them after I told my mom to pick me up a lot later. besides, I have a private parkour session with gerald in the afternoon, so instead of being bored from waiting, I’d rather go and watch a movie! We watched Narnia. the movie was good, I like the way the story was presented. I prefer this one to the second movie of course!
after that movie screening, we went to a pool bar to play a game of pool, just for fun, no gambling! wee played a good game, I scored some quite unexpected moves that even I wasn’t sure that it’s possible. maybe I was being blessed by Big Guy Up There? hahaha…. but this pool session had to be cut short as it’s nearly 4 o’clock, time of my rendezvous with gerald at school to do some exercise!
I went there from the pool bar on an “ojek” and arrived at school only to find that he weren’t there yet. so I went to look for him in the Central park area as we thought of doing it there, but I didn’t find him. it took only a matter of minutes before he called me and told that he’s already at school. I quickly rushed to school, and had some exercises! he taught me how to do some basic vaulting moves. too bad it was raining, which made me a little concerned about the floor being slippery. it was quite exhausting, but I’m happy that I’m finally back to the world of parkour after being on a few weeks of hiatus.
around 6 o’clock my mother picked me up. it went as usual during the ride home. after we arrived at my apartment I turned my laptop on, prepared my dinner, took a bath while washing my shoes, and then ate my dinner. I asked for someone who’s interested in playing a game on viwawa, and chelsea came up. we played Big 2.5 for a fe rounds before it falls down to this moment.
God I love this day. Thanks for allowing me to experience this day!
PS: sorry if my english is bad here. I’m only concerned on telling about today’s adventure
Labil-ing dan Galau-ing
December 10, 2010
yup, messing up with language a little bit there. but those two words are exactly the words that could express my feelings right now. no, it’s not about romance or anything related to teenlife (though I wouldn’t deny that it’s 20% that), but this is more about how I see my future.
I take my future errands quite seriously and even now I’m thinking about it. But currently, I’m looking through the glasses of a SMAK 1 natural science student. I see my grades as being “quite dissapointing”, and even “failed”. you see, I am good at other subjects, consisting of *PS: no intention on boasting here* chemistry, Indonesian, and English. sometimes I also get good scores on other subjects, too. Overall, my scores are quite good for SMAK 1 standard if it wasn’t for the dreaded MATH SCORE. Yes, I failed on my math. my score for this semester doesn’t pass through the standard minimum score for it so that it’s classified as “not failed”. this puts me in danger of having to repeat grade 11 all over again next year. yes, I know that all of my other scores are quite good, but it doesn’t guarantee that I won’t have to repeat next year, as math is one of the major subjects of Natural Science Program. it means if I fail on one of the major subjects (the others being physics, chemistry, and biology) at the end of the second semester, I’d have to repeat eleventh grade. and that would be such a waste of money and time.
why am I so concerned about this? I have been planning and thinking of what I would go for after high school. my first option is to get scholarship somewhere overseas. oh, FYI, I’m trying to avoid going to local universities as hard as it can be, for I want to avoid the orientation process which are usually, well, not within my range of principles. as my parents aren’t heavy moneymakers, I would have to rely on scholarship to be able to study overseas. Getting a scholarship would be very tough, especially that you need good grades to qualify. well, based on the fact that I failed on my math this semester, scholarship is out of the option. Call me pessimisstic but I think I’m being realistic here. what scholarship would I get if one of my grades fails?
Another option is going to europe. I choose Germany as a destination, as I heard that higher education is germany is far cheaper than any other countries as there are states which gives free education to their students, which means you only have to mind about your living costs while studying there. My mother already approves that she would be able to support me during my first year in Germany, but afterwards I’m on my own. I’m actually quite okay with this idea, but as I’m heading towards chemical engineering as my main subject in the university, and the university that I pick is one of the elite universities in germany, I’m getting less and less sure about my chances of getting admitted there. besides, my deutsch is not that good, but it can still be coped by learning it earlier. but still, I’m not quite sure.
well the last option is to stay in Indonesia. when there’s no other option left, I’d pick this one.
this piece of post might be quite confusing for those of you who reads it. well I have to admit that I’m not that good at expressing my feelings and emotions and I tend to keep them for myself. hence is this blogpost.
well, thanks for listening anyway.
Re-Construction: (half)DONE!
September 5, 2010
*found from google*
It’s doooooone! Blog ini kembali dengan wajah baru dan tentunya lebih terorganisir! klo lu perhatikan, sekarang tiap post, baik yang lama maupun yang baru, bakal ada kategori masing2 *kecuali gw lupa masukin hehehe*. Kemudian di sebelah kanan bisa diliat klo widgetnya berkurang.
Beberapa hal masih pengen gw tambahkan, antara lain gambar di sebelah kanan pake widget, biar ga terlihat terlalu kosong. Klo banner bisa diganti, gw mungkin bakal ganti juga.
Yah segitu dulu deh. Ini menandai kembalinya gw ke dunia perblog-an! hahaha
Blog Reconstruction
September 4, 2010
Ya, gw sedang berusaha merapikan kembali blog ini. brasa banget dari kmaren kmaren klo ini blog super duper sangat tidak rapi… apalagi widgets di sebelah kanan… oh iya, sori karena jarang ngepost, hehehe…
klo nanti dah selese, bakal ada beberapa post yang mungkin ilang, trus yang seperti sudah gw lakukan saat ini, themesnya udah gw ganti!
wait up for new fresh, reconstructed blog!
